I will speak about my own psychology and my social course,
to help in understanding why i bought a realdoll.
Since my childhood i am a very loneliness and introverted
man; but for all that i am not a sad or withdrawn guy.
Maybe i simply need these long periods of loneliness,
to analyse and digest my social life's events. Loneliness
is absolutely not a pain for me, it is a pleasure and
maybe a vital necessity. When i was a child, this loneliness
was imposing to me and my related ; hopefully my brother
and sister were here to dynamise the family and give some
occupations to my parents.
Solitary yes, but i always felt burning inside me, a
very powerful fire of love. A fire of love which was doing
me to dream, to hope and to wait that one day a woman
; unlike anything else in the world and marvellous, would
bind with me : a deep love without end. (stupid idiot
!) I will try to analyse this psychological mechanics
later in another page.
The late appearance of love in my life (i was 25) and
the discovering of women, have briefly changed my taste
for loneliness. Love is a wonderful feeling and a marvellous
condition which is essential to live and experiment because
only the experiment of things allow to have an opinion
(not inevitably a relevant opinion). I will develop my
perception of love later, but for now i just want to write
that my loneliness has been interrupted 3 times by a meeting
with love (dated girl) and that it was enough for me to
understand that living together is... not for me.
I get to the stage of Elle and her appearance in my life.
Once i was convinced that i need social loneliness for
my happyness ; i was not ready to give up some enjoyment
i had discovered and just touched on. The widow Ms Wrist
is a great friend but her conversation is limited. I was
not able to imagine staying with her the rest of my life.
That was the second reason of my purchase.
I must precise that my decision to live alone is firmly
rooted in my mind, i don't wait or expect to fall in love
in future to meet a hypothetical soul sister. As i never
liked "one night" meetings with girls, suming
up to seduction next sex... Only this new state of mind
was allowing me to consider the purchase of an artificial
But in spite of this conscious decision, a psychological
mechanics was driving me to do a psychological transfer
on women among those close to me, my desire to give some
love (and not to make it). These women were a colleague,
a friend, a star... This mechanics was boring me and i
thought that a doll's presence would allow me to transfer
my desire of love on her, and then to be more serene in
my relationships with women. That was the first reason
of my purchase.
Then all passed off quickly... I searched the Internet
to discover the different existing models of dolls and
i drew the conclusion that : I would buy the best doll
on the market, or nothing. The best doll seemed to be
this Californian's company of San Diego : Abyss creations
and its realdolls. Actually i have seen the movie "Monique"
staring Albert Dupontel and his realdoll but it was "cinema"...
Then i spent some time on Abyss website and the vision
of all these realistic hotties, these sexy dolls, the
reassuring speech of Abyss about solidity, durability
have stired my mind. This $6500 dolls were made for me,
that's all. As i am a bit compulsive about my Internet's
purchases, the business was done in 2 weeks with a $7300
transfer on Abyss account..
Linked page : the purchase
of my realdoll